December 13, 2011


December 13, 2011

Have you ever watched a movie or perhaps the news and seen one jet in the air in flight refueling another jet?  I have always been so intrigued by this maneuver.

  eads-refueling                photo courtesy

Could you imagine being the pilot who’s aircraft is in need of refueling?  Nervous would be an understatement.  I am sure for these pilots this is not that big of a deal.  Apparently, aerial refueling has become so popular that there are companies and divisions of the military that do just that thing.

Well friends, I am in need of some serious refueling.  Seriously, I would love to be able to hook up to some machine or perhaps another person and zap… there you go, refueled.  Let me explain.  About two weeks ago Chris left for a business trip to China.  You would think that after eight years of traveling (literally) to the other side of the world I would be use to it, but I loath the day that I get “use to” my husband being away.  He is my best friend on earth and when he is not around I get lonely – fast!  Not to mention the fact that he is such an enormous help with our two boisterous toddlers.

His trip was the shortest trip he has taken, nine days.  Prior to him leaving I started to psych myself out.  I kept telling myself things like, “its only nine days… that will fly by.  You will be able to get so much done around the house that you have been wanting to do.  Its only nine days, that’s a short trip.  Nine days… that is means he will only be gone for one weekend – you don’t get to see him much during the week anything.”  Seriously, it was almost like talking myself down off a ledge.  But hey, you have to do what you have to do to get by and for me it is psyching myself out.  ha ha.

After weather delays pushed his trip back an entire day he finally took off on Wednesday morning almost two weeks ago.  That evening as dinnertime rolled around the loneliness hit me like a ton of bricks – I was really not expecting it.  Dinnertime is usually when he comes through the door greeted by two eager little ones who are so excited to see Daddy home.  He always greets me in the kitchen with a kiss and helps me finish up dinner… ahhh I missed him so much.  As cliché that it may sound, at that moment I felt like I had a hole in my heart.  You would have thought that my husband never traveled by my reaction of his absence. 

Pulling myself together I made it through the next nine days by a thread.  For the first five days Colton’s behavior was the worst it had ever been.  The only thing I could contribute it to was that Chris was away and Colton too was lonely and sad.  Between being exhausted from not being able to sleep because my bed was empty, dealing with an unruly toddler which was totally uncharacteristic of him, and entertaining another whiney toddler I was on the verge of tears daily.

That Saturday my girlfriend ask me to come to Knoxville to visit with her family – she had planned crafts for the kids and she knew I needed a change of environment.  As we loaded the car Claire fell and busted her mouth… this was what finally did me in!  Once I cleaned Claire up and we were all in the car on our way I broke … I broke into tears and struggled to pull myself together.  I called a great friend and she talked me down, prayed with me and helped me put life back into perspective.  Looking at it now I am a little embarrassed of my meltdown, but I guess we’re all entitled to one once in a while.

The next week was much better and partly because we were counting down the days until daddy arrived.  That Friday Chris made it home safely and we have been thrilled to have him back home.  As happy as I am that he is here, I am still exhausted… tired… burnt out… low on fuel.  Praying for a fill up soon.

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