May 5, 2012

Marriage… An awkward Moment

May 5, 2012

It is a very rare occasion for Chris and I to be out by ourselves without two toddlers in tow.  We have always taken them everywhere with us – whether it is the grocery store, shopping mall, or even doctors appointments.  It is really just what is normal for us and we never have thought much about it.  However, last December a week or so before Christmas my husbands dad and stepmother kept the children for a few hours giving Chris and I the opportunity to run into the city (I use the term “city” lightly, but when you compare where we live and Knoxville there is a big difference) to finish up our Christmas shopping and grab an early dinner.  The two of them enjoy having the children to themselves so it was a win win for all of us.

What happened next has seared itself into my heart and mind in a very disturbing way and has left us changed – in a great way.

First, a little background.  Chris and I have always been attached at the hip, well, I have always been attached to his hip – ha ha.  Seriously, we have always done everything together and very rarely spend anytime apart if at all possible.  Unless one of us has been on a business trip we have never spent a night apart.  Girls and Guys night outs – well, those just do not happen.  Not that we have ‘rules’, but we just prefer to be together.  One of Chris’ sisters actually suggested a girls getaway with sisters and sisters in law once – they knew pretty much immediately that I would not be for that – I honestly have no need or desire to be away from my husband.  If I need a “break” from him (which I never feel like I do) I get the from 9-5 when he is at work.  With all that being said I guess that is why I was so shocked by what happened…

Our first stop was the mall.  We jump out of the car only tending to ourselves – no need to grab a stroller, snacks, diaper bag or wrangle two toddlers out of their car seats – it was just the two of us and we made it inside the mall lickadie split.  It was two Saturdays before Christmas so the mall was packed.  We had talked about where all we needed to go and what gifts needed to be purchased while in the car so once we got inside we had a game plan.  Off we went.  My purse thrown over my shoulder I was full steam ahead.  I was power walking through the mall with my hands in my pockets and my mind on getting in and getting out.  Then there it was… that awkward moment.  Makes me sick to think about now… seriously ill!  I was probably walking two or three paces in front of Chris with  my hands in my pockets and no regard for him whatsoever.  It hit me like a ton of bricks … I slowed up and said, “geeze why am I in such a hurry… we have no children with us!?”.  He laughed and I took my hands out of my pocket and grabbed his.  I did not say anything for a while, but it weighed heavy on my mind (and still does) … when did our marriage change?  When did the natural affection for one another change?  How did we go from walking together holding hands to walking in front of one another with our hands in our pockets.  I will be perfectly honest here – it terrified me!  Shook me to my core!

Our world has been so wrapped up in our children that when we are without them we almost do not know how to act like ourselves.  Okay, maybe I should just speak for myself here, but I am sure that Chris would agree.  Here is this person, this man, this wonderful wonderful man that I fell in love with as a teenager.  This man that has been my husband for almost 10 years and I am having an awkward moment with him!  What has the world come to!?  This moment has been a constant reminder to me that we need to remember those reasons why we feel in love and that it is a must that we have more time without children.  More time to focus on one another without distractions.

So how about you?  How do you and your spouse make more room in your schedule for “quality time” with one another?

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