It was not until I became a mother myself and broadened my horizons into social media that I realized there was such a thing as “mommy wars”.
- natural delivery -vs- epidural delivery -vs- c-section -vs- VBAC
- Induction -vs- no induction
- stay at home mom -vs- working mom
- cloth diapering -vs- no way to cloth diapers
- breast feeding –vs- bottle feeding
- immunizations –vs- selective vaccination schedule –vs- no vaccines
- home schooling –vs- traditional schooling
- public school –vs- private school
- what to eat –vs- what not to eat
- attachment parenting -vs- parent directed parenting
The list goes on and on. I find it so sad and so disheartening that we are not all on the same team. After all, are we not all mothers who in the end want what is best for our children? I am the first to admit that I have my own opinion concerning the above bulleted point and I am sure there are times when I voice my opinion when it is not ask. However, I do make an effort to voice my thoughts in love and in an effort to help educate other mothers… someone had to voice their opinion and educate me and for that I am so thankful!
I have recognized though that many moms see a mere suggestion or alternative to “their way” as an attack on their parenting skills. I am not sure if this comes from their own insecurities or what. It is sort of like, “well if I do it this way and this mom does it a different way – well then she must think she is better than me” and thus moms in general become defensive. Does this make sense at all? I found this to be most true for me when it comes to talking about natural childbirth. This subject is due a post all of its own, but lets just say for the record that after two natural deliveries I have found fellow mothers and nurses in the labor and delivery unit not so supportive of my decision. Sad and aggravating.
If there is one thing that most all moms are guilty of it is that all too nasty “mom guilt”. We are always beating ourselves up over the “should of, could of, would of’s” of parenting. Some of my closest friends do not parent like me, but we are still the best of friends. Best of all we work to encourage one another along our parenting journey, because as much as our spouse try to relate to what we go through on a daily basis they simply cannot relate like a fellow mom can. So I want to urge you and myself to declare a cease fire on the “mommy wars” and lets work together to encourage one another to be the best, the most Godly moms we can be!