January 26, 2013

Let’s End the Mommy Wars

January 26, 2013

The blogging community is huge.  None more huge than that of the mommy blogging community.  I have been amazed over the past few years by all the mom blogs out there on the internet.  Some of which are so awesome!  I have discovered a world of super creative moms who have so much to offer all the rest of us.  I often scroll through a blog post and say, “wow I never thought of that”.  There are a ton of blogs that I like, but I have very little time to keep up with up any. 

One blogger in particular that I discovered late last year is Sarah from “It’s a Vol”.  The title of her blog alone is enough to make me love her!  I will be honest, the first thing that went through my mind when I saw the title was, “why didn’t I think of that!?”.  I found her by accident through the chick who designed my blog.  After poking around on her blog for a while and making a few contacts back and forth Sarah discovered that our spouses actually were in the MBA program together at UT.  Small world.

The thing about her blog that I enjoy so much (besides the freakishly cute picture of her darling daughter) is that she is an honest blogger.  She puts it out there.  No sugar coating – or at least not from what I can tell.  She is not afraid to share with you what she sees as her faults or the details of her no good very bad day.  In the same regard she also shares her triumphs.  She has been very candid in sharing information about post partum depression and recovering.  Something I am fortunate enough to know nothing about.

Recently Sarah opened up and shared her thoughts on a rather controversial cartoon about the relationship between not breastfeeding and smoking.  While I did not take the cartoon too seriously, it did upset a lot of moms.  I understood the point that the cartoonist was trying to make, but also realize they did a bad job at trying to get their point across.  This brought up the issue of “breastfeeding advocates” which Sarah addressed on her blog.  You see, here in the world of social media it seems like a lot of moms feel like they can pass judgment on other moms without a second thought.  In the real world one of your friends or even a stranger for that matter are not very likely to ask you why or why not you chose to feed your child a certain way.  And they surely would not chastise you for not doing it they way that they feel is best.

Behind the screen of a computer or a phone people in general get more nerve.  A lot of “advocating” moms feel like it is their “right” to tell other moms what is best for the children.  One commenter on Sarah’s post actually made the comment that a woman is not deserving of a child if she is not willing to try to breast feed.  When I read the comment I was totally thrown for a loop!  I could not imagine this nerve of this person.  She thought/thinks she is better than another mom who does not breastfeed.  I am a breastfeeding mom myself and I love every minute of it (well… except for the reoccurring mastitis), but I have never in my wildest dreams thought of myself better than another mom who chose not to breastfeed.  I feel like she (the commenter) gives other breastfeeding moms like myself a bad rap.

Several of my friends have chosen not to breastfeed – for whatever reason.  I have never even thought of it my right to ask them why they did not choose to breastfeed and I certainly do not think I am more worthy to be a mom than they are.  I am appalled that someone would say such a thing.

I have said it before and I will say it again.  We all have this very thing in common, we are moms!  We are moms who need daily encouragement and one of the best places to find it is from other moms.  No one understands your daily struggles like a fellow mom.  No one understands the constant self doubt and self ridicule like a fellow mom.  Apparently, no one will judge you as harshly like another mom.  I find it so sad, I find it extremely disheartening and I vow to make a stand against this mommy’s wars and be an encourager to all moms!

Who is with me!?

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