May 27, 2014

Silly Goose

May 27, 2014

I have been trying to clean up my pictures on my computer because they are taking up a ton of room.  Not to mention I get trigger happy and end up with four pictures that look basically identical.  I love going through all photos.  It is amazing how much everyone has changed in just a year or even six months – like this photo.

Claire is such a silly goose sometimes and Beckham loves her so much.  This picture is true evidence.  Gotta love ‘em!

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May 17, 2014

Nostalgia & A Robe

May 17, 2014

I am extremely sentimental… to the point that it is sometimes annoying, even to me.  I remember when my iron bit the dust a few years ago and I was so sad.  Why you ask? … well because we received it as a wedding gift.  So silly I know, but I remember who bought us that iron from our registry.  I am just sentimental like that.  I remember purchasing a diaper changing pad for a friend and telling her “whenever you change your babies diaper you will remember that we purchased this for you”.  I guess I am a weirdo… ha ha.  I just remember stuff like that.  It helps me to remember to think about others and to think about the.

Just this week Beckham broke our tooth brush holder.  Normally this would not be a big deal, but once again this was also a wedding gift from a sweet friend of mine.  Someone whom I still adore.  It makes me sad.  You would think though after 12 years I would be immune to it, but nope… nostalgia – that’s what gets me every time.

When I went to college I remember two specific things that my mom sent with me that I still have.  A purple laundry basket and a long cotton robe.  A few months ago the handle on the purple laundry basket broke – I was so sad.  Why?  Why on earth would that make me sad?  It was the one thing that took me back to a normal (whatever normal is) place with my childhood.  The other thing was a robe.  She insisted I take this robe.  It wasn’t new… it was hers.  My dad bought it for her when she was in the hospital giving birth to my little brother.  It is 22 years old now… and I wear it weekly.

My sister in law got married a few years ago… Chris and I were both in the wedding.  I left my robe in the hotel.  I debated for a while on whether or not to call and have them ship me the robe.  Long story short; I currently have the robe.photo (25)

The robe comes with a significant amount of memories.  Some of which I would like to forget.  It reminds me so much of my dad due to the fact that he was the original purchaser of the robe.  I loved my dad.  Really I did.  From the mind of a child he was a great dad… almost perfect.  From the mind of an adult you see the mistakes, the failures, the selfishness.  It is painful.  It causes heartache.  Heartache sucks – for lack of a better word.  It hurts.  Who wants to hurt?

As I write this I am asking myself, “why”… “why are you doing this”???   Why are you spilling these intimate details of yourself?  My dad has been physically gone for almost five years, but he has been gone for much longer than that.  To go from “daddy’s little girl” … to “daddy’s pride and joy” … to “who are you?… ” … is painful.  It sucks and quite frankly I want to burn this robe.

I feel like even now after almost five years I get these small moments to morn the loss of my earthly father… and at this moment I am mourning.


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May 9, 2014

Re-Birth

May 9, 2014

Easter Sunday I stood outside the dressing room listening to Colton talk to his Daddy.  “Dad I know Jesus is in my heart, he’s there forever and there is nothing that can ever take him away”.  Oh, it was one of the most precious moments ever. 

When Colton told me a month earlier (the first day of Spring) that he had ask Jesus into his heart (at school) I was so thrilled.  Part of me though was a tad envious that his precious teacher was the one who got to lead him in a sinners prayer and not me or his father.  As I stood there though, outside of that room, I know the Lord was giving me the gift of hearing my sweet son proclaim his love for our Savior.

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Chris waded the waters with Colton and our Pastor.  He offered up the sweetest prayer of thanks and gratitude.  It was such a full circle moment for us.  Chris was baptized here by the same pastor as a child and myself as a teenager.  This is the church where he proposed and the Pastor who officiated our wedding.  Such a great history.IMG_7175

There is no experience quite like the birth of a child.  My birth experiences were almost magical and surreal.  I have never experienced the presence of God like I have at the birth of my children.  Easter Sunday though was amazing watching the “rebirth” of my oldest son.  I lack the ability to put into words just how I feel, how full my heart is.  IMG_7184

As he went back into the dressing room Colton said, “Oh I cannot wait for Claire to get saved and baptized Dad”.  What a true testament to the work of the Lord.

We were so thankful that so many of our family were here to share in this great day!


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